When I went to the Readers Studio in April of 2018, Tarot Master Mary Greer said something that I can’t get out of my head: Tarot is a great companion to a Fine Arts practice. Yes, I thought to myself – it is. Because, well I’m an Artist, and geez – did you literally say those words to me directly? Because my heart leapt out of my chest then those words left your mouth.
I have been an Artist since I can remember. In the office of my Grandmother’s house, the young Artist is given some watercolors, paint brushes, paper, and straws. After dropping wet blobs of paint onto office paper, 8 year old me took the straws and blew through them like the west winds. Paint blobs spread out from my wind tunnel into intricate and “refined” splatters. You could not pull me away from the page. I was obsessed with seeing how far I could take these splatters. They had arms reaching to embrace each other. They were clouds, dripping with rain. They were tears falling down cheeks. This was no ordinary time or place I was experiencing. I was someplace else. I was in awe of my power to shape what was before me. I was transfixed, I was high (might have been a tad bit winded!).
I knew I wanted to be an artist, right then and there – and always.
The act of creating something that didn’t exist before was magical. It’s like a ritual. In quietness you commune with forces outside of yourself, and they speak back to you in a language outside of human consciousness. In creating something that didn’t exist before, you see your power to alter reality. A white page is yours. No matter what’s going on outside of you, the white page embraces, responds, and gives you a language when words fail. As the young artist seeing splatters as clouds, tears, and rain, art gave me a way to connect to the mysteries of life. I could speak with the skies and with tears rolling down cheeks.
Being an Artist is central to my practice as a Tarot Reader. As a creator of symbols, I have learned to look deeply beyond a shape to see its meaning. As a creator who makes their own tarot decks, communing directly with archetypes has deepened my understanding of the cards. Symbols and metaphor speak to us in a language outside of normal time and space. In using this language, tarot allows us to see our lives in a different way.
In the Fall of 2016, I started taking Japanese Butoh classes. Butoh is a modern form of dance that means to “dance with darkness.” The dance of Butoh is one that allows the body to move to innate imageries. Often times the Butoh classes I take revolve around us responding to a series of prompts from the instructor. One recent class focused on us embodying the Greek God Eros. We were prompted to move as if we had been struck by thousands of arrows by the Greek God Eros, God of love. Can you imagine? I was writhing in pain, and pleasure. Love, but suffering also, coursed though my veins. Next, our orator told us that sweet honey poured from our open wounds. I moved in very slow circular motions, sticky. I arched my head, smelling the sweet nectar. It was a strange and transformative reality to embrace.
I am addicted to the altered state, as an artist and Tarot reader. When reality is altered, it somehow becomes more clear.
After all these years, the girl blowing paint splatters continues to live on in the same spirit. I seek out creative experiences that allow me to embody the unknown. Through painting animal totems, I get to meet the wild and learn from their ways. In movement and Butoh dance, I become the Lovers card, Eros’ center.
The tarot holds the power of these Gods and the primal energy of us, in a large and mysterious cosmos. The Lovers card is the place where the arrow rests.
Embracing a creative practice can help you embody Tarot archetypes in new ways, whether through movement, visual art, writing, or music. All forms of creativity involve releasing your grasp on reality for a deeper look. The deeper look then transforms reality into hope and possibility. A landscape with infinite pathways appears before us.
So, I ask you: What is your inner genius, and your way to connect to the tarot outside of normal reality?